7.15.2006

Cycling and Spirituality

I’ve had company for the last 10 days. Old friends from South Carolina and new friends from Pennsylvania and Alabama. I agree wholeheartedly with one of these friends – that home is not a location as much as it is a safety and comfort felt in the presence of individuals with whom you are vulnerable and by whom you are loved. I have been at home for the past 2 weeks – and I never had to go any further than the San Francisco airport to find it.

This morning, as the last batch of friends left, I reveled in the thought that I could finally get back on my bike after not having been out since they showed up 10 days prior. The problem presented itself though that I had gotten lazy and, worst of all, accustomed to the laziness. I struggled to get myself motivated to go for a ride, came up with excuses for not going, and laid down on my bed contemplating my apathy for something I love so much. For those of you who know me, unwillingness to exercise is not a trait I often exhibit.

Can you see where I’m going here?

So I lay on my bed and began to read from Ecclesiastes. The thoughts came to my mind that just as one who loves to exercise can be distracted for a time and then have a hard time regaining their motivation and excitement, so can one who loves God become apathetic and unresponsive, all the while knowing that they want to get back on the “bike” and “ride”. It takes courage and perseverance, even if just for a short time in the beginning, to overcome the tannins of forgetful indifference that breed from our neglect of the things we are passionate about and of which we are in great need.

To those of you who have forgotten or question whether or not it is worth the effort to reignite the heat of pursuit – never forget that it was once worth it to you and the only thing that is likely fueling your hesitancy is not a lack of a perceived fulfillment, but rather a nervousness driven by lack of familiarity. Become reacquainted with the passions you have neglected – get on your bike and ride, talk to your God, get back in the gym, start writing music again, take that yoga class, dance and sing in the presence of your Maker. Let your passions be reignited and fears be silenced.

7.01.2006

The Danger of Looking Deeper

We can get so lost in our philosophy and affirmative pursuits. I never expected to get lost down this path, but here I am. In the pursuit of God and understanding of one’s sinfulness in the presence of a holy and just God, could one possibly, once within grasp of an understanding of their sinfulness, forget to turn their eyes to the great Redeemer, the Lover of mankind?

Don’t stop short of this! The end of humanity is not to realize that she is a sinner, but rather to know and enjoy God forever. Granted, this knowing often comes through the careful assessment of one’s own inadequacy and need for propitiation for the Judge of his merits. However, I have found, and I don’t believe it to be unique to myself, that one can spend so much effort to understand his sin and the vileness of it as per the Law of God, that he forgets to acknowledge that this sin exists as a combination of nature and choice – not one or the other, but a combination of the two.

Now, my choices I can alter, assuming that I can operate them independent of my nature and an overpowering propensity toward the wrong (which, many have found, is not the case). But if nature is directly tied to sin, then how am I to change my nature? Nature is inborn and the essence of design. Can a tree choose to be less rigid or a lake to be unchanged by the wind? No, for this is in its nature and the state of its nature is beyond its control.

The same is true for us. This sin is in our nature and it is not in our power to devise and develop a way to alter our own nature. Even if you could devise the way, you could not implement it. Therefore, the constant inward-reflection, without the admittance that One outside the confines of the human condition and human limitations is the only one capable of affecting the nature of man, is unending and unproductive. The only thing it produces is confusion and, at best, legalist defeatism.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

Only in the presence of the Savior of the world can we see there be any acceptable account given for the nature of man to the Righteous Judge of the earth. Only in the grace of Jesus can the soul find rest and love and peace and hope and the knowledge of goodness that can trump his own nature and his vain pursuits.